That Was Then And This Is Now: Observations From Another Place

The Herons returned last month to their nesting trees in the park at the end of our street. They are as magnificent as always in their 20th year of returning and my 6th year of observing but, according to a member of the Parks Board that I spoke with, the current nesting trees will most likely be dead in five years. It’s the Herons excrement that’s doing the trees in. I am watching as a huge flock of them suddenly surge up out of their nests for their daily break and flow together, some perching on surrounding trees while others land on high roof tops. This situation reminds me of how random things can be, that no matter how seemingly solid, they can end at any time. I will greatly miss these birds if they stop coming back but I also recognize them as a symbol of the times. Although change can be both challenging and difficult, letting go can be cathartic, a blessing in disguise. Like the herons, we can be capable of adapting and evolving as we reinvent our lives out of circumstances beyond our control.

Something that I find quite telling albeit disturbing is that many people here in Vancouver seem to have an ‘us or them’ attitude regarding birds. They simply don’t like them, particularly Canada Geese, and the natural detritus they leave behind. I often hear negative comments and complaints from passersby while I’m out walking on the seawall. (I could say the same about certain humans that unabashedly deposit facemasks and garbage wherever they might be. I could go on and on.) Then there are those like myself that utterly adore the wee dinosaurs. They’ve been around much longer than we have and obviously know more than we do about survival and adaptation. We can learn a lot from them, and all other animals for that matter. They instinctively know how to live, particularly in the moment. Case in point, have you ever seen a squirrel or a seagull reading a self help book or with their faces glued to a cellphone? How they must laugh at us. They do what they have to do without complaint and simply get on with their lives no matter what is thrown at them. How are we faring in comparison?

What a difference a year can make. What were we thinking in March, 2020? What were we doing? The phrase, ‘we’re all in this together’ was much touted in the media and it did seem, for a split second, that we were. Except now we’re not. Society appears to be more fragmented, even more segregated and whatever flaws loomed before have grown larger and more hostile. We are loaded down with too much information on a daily basis with both cognizant and subliminal influences, and much of it is false. It’s probably time to unplug, turn-off, and tune-out. Time to take a long look at the facts. Things like old habits, worn out beliefs, and attitudes can keep us from letting go and moving in a different direction. People are experiencing the pandemic in different ways. Some are still acting as though not much has changed, others have lost their jobs and a lot more, while some have become transformed. There is no going back to what was because before doesn’t exist.

Everything will change in our lives as we move forward. from how we shop, to how we work, to how we communicate, and, if we’re really fortunate, to how we see ourselves and others. After having studied and instructed it myself, I believe that an emotional intelligence course should be mandatory at all ages. Learning self-awareness and empathy could change our lives and interactions for the better. Cultural intelligence would change how we see the world and ourselves in it. It could lessen racial tensions and bias behaviours in our own backyards. It’s not a magic formula to fix the world’s problems but it’s essential to positive negotiations, growth, and understanding. It’s a way to widen our vision and recognize opportunities that might otherwise be missed if we remain in a smaller sphere.

I have always believed that timing is everything and, if we pay attention to it, the solution to a problem will come to us when we need it most. It’s been exactly a year since I stopped teaching and I have had a totally unexpected and transformative, and you might even say self-affirming 12 months albeit at times exhausting and difficult. I purged myself of past angst and have reimagined how I live. I see myself and my accomplishments in a different, more positive light and I have let go of the individuals that simply made me feel bad by their words and actions. I think the most significant change was when I just recently shut down my business website in order to reinvent what I’ve been doing for the past 25 years. It wasn’t just taking the pages down but what was attached to them; the history, the time, the hard work, the people, the experiences, and emotions. A large chunk of my life. How much of our identities are connected to what others think of us or what we do instead of who we are? Are we living our own authentic lives, walking the road less travelled or following someone else’s map. I once had someone tell me that if I wasn’t a millionaire I was a nobody. He was wrong.

In hindsight, I can see that everything has actually fallen neatly into place, in spite of any fear and anxiety, and I have followed a succession of checkpoints that I wasn’t really aware of at the time. Years ago I read somewhere that sometimes you just have to take your hands off the steering wheel and let the universe drive. Although scary at times, it’s all about letting any control go, completely, and having the courage to do so. It’s amazing how when we find ourselves in a different place and just let things happen how exciting life can suddenly become. Letting go of ‘stuff’, relationships, worn out perceptions and beliefs, the same old same old, anything that is holding us in a place of anxious existence. Coming to terms with the truth can be devastating, but it also sets us free. It can be self-affirming, releasing forgotten memories of pure joy, accomplishments once swept under the carpet, a realization that we are worthy, that we are wonderful. We are good enough as we are.

This post was written by Jude Gorgopa, Reinvention Consultant and founder of Clout Et Cetera & The Fundamentals Of Clout.